Chicken Poop for the Soul II More Droppings: Hilarious Tales Guaranteed to Bring Joy to the Cynic in All of Us (Chicken Poop for the Soul, 2)
Chicken Poop for the Soul II More Droppings: Hilarious Tales Guaranteed to Bring Joy to the Cynic in All of Us (Chicken Poop for the Soul, 2)
Overview
Chapter One: Three Little WordsI had reached the summit of my midlife crisis. I felt stuck in a deep rut, going nowhere, looking forward to nothing. I knew that if I didn't try to change my life, I was doomed to decades of repeating my same old mistakes. But I didn't how to make those changes -- until I read a wonderful book of inspirational stories. A woman from St. Louis, Missouri, wrote that she had changed her life simply by telling people that she loved them. People responded to those three little words in wonderful ways, and since that time her life had been greatly fulfilled. So I decided to try it myself. I vowed that for one day I would tell each person I met that I loved them.I began the next morning while sitting at the small kitchen table with my wife of eighteen years. It had been a long time since I'd expressed any real feelings toward her. The truth is we had been going through some rough times; we'd even discussed separating. So I took a deep breath, cleared my throat, and said it: "I love you."A change immediately came over her. She put down her coffee and looked at me quizzically. Then she responded with three little words of her own: "Are you nuts?"But by the time I got to my office I was excited. I had made real contact with my life. I had changed the dynamics of my relationship with my wife. In midmorning I called my young secretary into my office. She'd been with me for almost a year, and she was a terrible secretary. She forgot phone calls, she didn't finish her work, she was often late to the office and left early. I had been tough with her and I knew she didn't like me much. So as she stood in front of my desk, once again I got up my courage and said those three little words: "I love you."She was absolutely stunned. Her arms dropped to her side and she shook her head. And then she responded with three little words of her own: "That's sexual harassment."Later that afternoon I was called into the office of the company's director of human resources. He was a stern, distant man. He was known for being extremely officious and almost obsessively neat. As he started explaining to me why under current corporate guidelines I had committed a legal offense and was therefore being terminated, I interrupted him and said flatly, "I love you."He looked at me as if he had never seen me before and gulped. Clearly he did not know what, to say. Finally, he looked around the room and whispered three little words of his own: "Meet me later."My desk was cleaned out and I was escorted off the premises by four o'clock that afternoon.I knew I had to persist. I saw a woman standing by herself, leaning against a building. She looked so alone, so forlorn, that I felt I had to approach her. I had to make contact with her, just one human being to another. So I walked right up to her and said clearly those three little words: "I love you."And she responded with three little words of her own: "You're under arrest." She pulled out a badge and identified herself as a member of the vice squad.While this was not turning out precisely as it had in that inspirational book, it certainly was changing my life. As I was brought into the courthouse to be arraigned, a man sat next to me. "I love you," I said.He laughed, then replied with three little words: "I'm your lawyer."Finally I was standing before the judge. After listening to my attorney explain the situation, the judge asked me if I had anything to say. Now, how could I possibly resist? "I love you," I said.He smiled kindly. "Go to jail."After being released on bail, I took a taxicab home. "I love you," I told the driver."Twenty-eight bucks," he said, reading the meter.The house was dark. But as I turned on the lights, I saw a note on the table. It was from my wife. As I read her note, I knew I had reached her in a way I'd never before thought possible. For on that piece of paper she had written in big, bold letters the three little words I had been longing to hear for so long: "I'm leaving you!"I had successfully changed my life.-- Barry NevellCopyright © 2000 by David FisherDescription
Condition Guidelines
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- Used - Good: All pages and cover are intact (including the dust cover, if applicable). Spine may show signs of wear. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting. May include "From the library of" labels. Shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Item may be missing bundled media.
- Used - Acceptable: All pages and the cover are intact, but shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Pages may include limited notes, highlighting, or minor water damage but the text is readable. Item may but the dust cover may be missing. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting, but the text cannot be obscured or unreadable.
Note: Some electronic material access codes are valid only for one user. For this reason, used books, including books listed in the Used – Like New condition, may not come with functional electronic material access codes.
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Estimated delivery times:
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- Expedited Shipping: 3-5 business days
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Returns & Refunds
You may return most items within 30 days of delivery for a full refund.
To be eligible for a return, your item must be unused and in the same condition that you received it. It must also be in the original packaging.
Several types of goods are exempt from being returned. Perishable goods such as food, flowers, newspapers or magazines cannot be returned. We also do not accept products that are intimate or sanitary goods, hazardous materials, or flammable liquids or gases.
Additional non-returnable items:
- Gift cards
- Downloadable software products
- Some health and personal care items
To complete your return, we require a tracking number, which shows the items which you already returned to us.
There are certain situations where only partial refunds are granted (if applicable)
- Book with obvious signs of use
- CD, DVD, VHS tape, software, video game, cassette tape, or vinyl record that has been opened
- Any item not in its original condition, is damaged or missing parts for reasons not due to our error
- Any item that is returned more than 30 days after delivery
Items returned to us as a result of our error will receive a full refund,some returns may be subject to a restocking fee of 7% of the total item price, please contact a customer care team member to see if your return is subject. Returns that arrived on time and were as described are subject to a restocking fee.
Items returned to us that were not the result of our error, including items returned to us due to an invalid or incomplete address, will be refunded the original item price less our standard restocking fees.
If the item is returned to us for any of the following reasons, a 15% restocking fee will be applied to your refund total and you will be asked to pay for return shipping:
- Item(s) no longer needed or wanted.
- Item(s) returned to us due to an invalid or incomplete address.
- Item(s) returned to us that were not a result of our error.
You should expect to receive your refund within four weeks of giving your package to the return shipper, however, in many cases you will receive a refund more quickly. This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).
If you need to return an item, please Contact Us with your order number and details about the product you would like to return. We will respond quickly with instructions for how to return items from your order.
Shipping Cost
We'll pay the return shipping costs if the return is a result of our error (you received an incorrect or defective item, etc.). In other cases, you will be responsible for paying for your own shipping costs for returning your item. Shipping costs are non-refundable. If you receive a refund, the cost of return shipping will be deducted from your refund.
Depending on where you live, the time it may take for your exchanged product to reach you, may vary.
If you are shipping an item over $75, you should consider using a trackable shipping service or purchasing shipping insurance. We don’t guarantee that we will receive your returned item.
Overview
Chapter One: Three Little WordsI had reached the summit of my midlife crisis. I felt stuck in a deep rut, going nowhere, looking forward to nothing. I knew that if I didn't try to change my life, I was doomed to decades of repeating my same old mistakes. But I didn't how to make those changes -- until I read a wonderful book of inspirational stories. A woman from St. Louis, Missouri, wrote that she had changed her life simply by telling people that she loved them. People responded to those three little words in wonderful ways, and since that time her life had been greatly fulfilled. So I decided to try it myself. I vowed that for one day I would tell each person I met that I loved them.I began the next morning while sitting at the small kitchen table with my wife of eighteen years. It had been a long time since I'd expressed any real feelings toward her. The truth is we had been going through some rough times; we'd even discussed separating. So I took a deep breath, cleared my throat, and said it: "I love you."A change immediately came over her. She put down her coffee and looked at me quizzically. Then she responded with three little words of her own: "Are you nuts?"But by the time I got to my office I was excited. I had made real contact with my life. I had changed the dynamics of my relationship with my wife. In midmorning I called my young secretary into my office. She'd been with me for almost a year, and she was a terrible secretary. She forgot phone calls, she didn't finish her work, she was often late to the office and left early. I had been tough with her and I knew she didn't like me much. So as she stood in front of my desk, once again I got up my courage and said those three little words: "I love you."She was absolutely stunned. Her arms dropped to her side and she shook her head. And then she responded with three little words of her own: "That's sexual harassment."Later that afternoon I was called into the office of the company's director of human resources. He was a stern, distant man. He was known for being extremely officious and almost obsessively neat. As he started explaining to me why under current corporate guidelines I had committed a legal offense and was therefore being terminated, I interrupted him and said flatly, "I love you."He looked at me as if he had never seen me before and gulped. Clearly he did not know what, to say. Finally, he looked around the room and whispered three little words of his own: "Meet me later."My desk was cleaned out and I was escorted off the premises by four o'clock that afternoon.I knew I had to persist. I saw a woman standing by herself, leaning against a building. She looked so alone, so forlorn, that I felt I had to approach her. I had to make contact with her, just one human being to another. So I walked right up to her and said clearly those three little words: "I love you."And she responded with three little words of her own: "You're under arrest." She pulled out a badge and identified herself as a member of the vice squad.While this was not turning out precisely as it had in that inspirational book, it certainly was changing my life. As I was brought into the courthouse to be arraigned, a man sat next to me. "I love you," I said.He laughed, then replied with three little words: "I'm your lawyer."Finally I was standing before the judge. After listening to my attorney explain the situation, the judge asked me if I had anything to say. Now, how could I possibly resist? "I love you," I said.He smiled kindly. "Go to jail."After being released on bail, I took a taxicab home. "I love you," I told the driver."Twenty-eight bucks," he said, reading the meter.The house was dark. But as I turned on the lights, I saw a note on the table. It was from my wife. As I read her note, I knew I had reached her in a way I'd never before thought possible. For on that piece of paper she had written in big, bold letters the three little words I had been longing to hear for so long: "I'm leaving you!"I had successfully changed my life.-- Barry NevellCopyright © 2000 by David FisherDescription
Condition Guidelines
Books - New and Used
The following guidelines apply to books:
- New: A brand-new copy with cover and original protective wrapping intact. Books with markings of any kind on the cover or pages, books marked as "Bargain" or "Remainder," or with any other labels attached, may not be listed as New condition.
- Used - Good: All pages and cover are intact (including the dust cover, if applicable). Spine may show signs of wear. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting. May include "From the library of" labels. Shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Item may be missing bundled media.
- Used - Acceptable: All pages and the cover are intact, but shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Pages may include limited notes, highlighting, or minor water damage but the text is readable. Item may but the dust cover may be missing. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting, but the text cannot be obscured or unreadable.
Note: Some electronic material access codes are valid only for one user. For this reason, used books, including books listed in the Used – Like New condition, may not come with functional electronic material access codes.
Shipping & Delivery
Shipping Fees
- Stevens Books offers FREE SHIPPING everywhere in the United States for ALL non-book orders, and $3.99 for each book.
- Packages are shipped from Monday to Friday.
- No additional fees and charges.
Delivery Times
The usual time for processing an order is 24 hours (1 business day), but may vary depending on the availability of products ordered. This period excludes delivery times, which depend on your geographic location.
Estimated delivery times:
- Standard Shipping: 5-8 business days
- Expedited Shipping: 3-5 business days
Shipping method varies depending on what is being shipped.
Tracking
All orders are shipped with a tracking number. Once your order has left our warehouse, a confirmation e-mail with a tracking number will be sent to you. You will be able to track your package at all times.
Damaged Parcel
If your package has been delivered in a PO Box, please note that we are not responsible for any damage that may result (consequences of extreme temperatures, theft, etc.).
If you have any questions regarding shipping or want to know about the status of an order, please contact us or email to support@stevensbooks.com.
Returns & Refunds
You may return most items within 30 days of delivery for a full refund.
To be eligible for a return, your item must be unused and in the same condition that you received it. It must also be in the original packaging.
Several types of goods are exempt from being returned. Perishable goods such as food, flowers, newspapers or magazines cannot be returned. We also do not accept products that are intimate or sanitary goods, hazardous materials, or flammable liquids or gases.
Additional non-returnable items:
- Gift cards
- Downloadable software products
- Some health and personal care items
To complete your return, we require a tracking number, which shows the items which you already returned to us.
There are certain situations where only partial refunds are granted (if applicable)
- Book with obvious signs of use
- CD, DVD, VHS tape, software, video game, cassette tape, or vinyl record that has been opened
- Any item not in its original condition, is damaged or missing parts for reasons not due to our error
- Any item that is returned more than 30 days after delivery
Items returned to us as a result of our error will receive a full refund,some returns may be subject to a restocking fee of 7% of the total item price, please contact a customer care team member to see if your return is subject. Returns that arrived on time and were as described are subject to a restocking fee.
Items returned to us that were not the result of our error, including items returned to us due to an invalid or incomplete address, will be refunded the original item price less our standard restocking fees.
If the item is returned to us for any of the following reasons, a 15% restocking fee will be applied to your refund total and you will be asked to pay for return shipping:
- Item(s) no longer needed or wanted.
- Item(s) returned to us due to an invalid or incomplete address.
- Item(s) returned to us that were not a result of our error.
You should expect to receive your refund within four weeks of giving your package to the return shipper, however, in many cases you will receive a refund more quickly. This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).
If you need to return an item, please Contact Us with your order number and details about the product you would like to return. We will respond quickly with instructions for how to return items from your order.
Shipping Cost
We'll pay the return shipping costs if the return is a result of our error (you received an incorrect or defective item, etc.). In other cases, you will be responsible for paying for your own shipping costs for returning your item. Shipping costs are non-refundable. If you receive a refund, the cost of return shipping will be deducted from your refund.
Depending on where you live, the time it may take for your exchanged product to reach you, may vary.
If you are shipping an item over $75, you should consider using a trackable shipping service or purchasing shipping insurance. We don’t guarantee that we will receive your returned item.
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